I'm having a lot of issues right now, and I think writing about some things will help me. I don't understand my life right now, and I'm worried I never will. What do I do if I can never make up my mind, how can I live like that? I don't think I can. I am so in love with William, and he takes everything I throw at him, but how long will it take till I wear him too thin and he leaves. Not only do I keep leaving him, but I may be pregnant. I've taken three tests that have all been negative, but I still haven't started. The directions for the tests say that if you have a cyst it could mess up the results...basically it could tell me I'm not pregnant but I may be. I think I have a cyst...I need to get checked out at the doctor. I also need a therapist, and I need to stop drinking incase I am pregnant. What do I do?? I have a boyfriend who I feel like doesn't love me or want to be with me, but he proves that he wants to be all the time! Why do I feel like I'm too young for this? Am I? I want to be with him, but I want to feel loved, and liked. Most importantly I want to feel liked! I have to get away from these dumb emotion rollercoasters!! What's my deal?!?! I want to cry so bad, but thankfully I'm in math so I can't.

Ugh! That brings up a completely different problem. I've totally slacked off this semester and now I can't take my finals because of my new job. I got hired at BMW as a service coordinator making a nice sum of money and that will be good for me but I liked ruth's chris, and everyone is asking where I'm going but I'm not ready to tell. Plus, I won't be able to take my finals!! ARGH! I'm just done. Finished. I want to get this job, and I want to start over. But am I going to start over with William, or should I move in with my friend Ashley?? Should I just stay there a few more nights, weeks? What the heck do I do?!!?

Ah...I'm going to get a therapist. If anyone reads this anymore...you can put in your two cents and i'll read it. Thanks.

I don't feel any better. =(

Well, it's Sunday. I have a huge paper to write, but I'm totally procrastinating. :( ah well. I hung out with friends last night and we all went bowling. I was trying to clean up and then do my paper, but I had been distracted all day. Secrest text me and was like, dude..what ya doin tonight? so we found something to do. we met up with Casey and Shawn at Huey's then went to get William when he was finished working then headed to Billy Hardwicks. We drank some, then came back to mine and William's apartment and they ended up staying the night so now it's 5:30 in the afternoon, ok now it's 7:30 and Casey and Shawn just left. I'm going to try and work on my paper now. I'll write later. Here's some pictures from last night!

wow, the good ole' days!! I'm so glad I found this thing..it's amazing.
I guess to update..I'm still with william, we're beyond happy. We bought a 2006 mazda on our own, which is kinda cool...we have car insurance :) I'm about to get a Tennessee license yay! I make a crap ton of money at Outback....and get half off anything and everything...so if you're wondering how I gained so much weight...that's how. hahahaha! But on a serious note, I do love my job, it pays my bills...which by the way, mooch as long as you can, the only thing that sucks about living on my own, is waking up everyday and knowing that I have bills to pay...and no matter how quickly I pay them off....next month is still coming. x-p but it is worth it, and only because william and I work so well together...we usually have all bills paid a week to two weeks before the end of the month...so I guess half way through the month...but we still allow ourselves to go out and have fun!!
ya know what...does anyone ever read these anymore, anyway...I do get a couple of updates and I read em from time to time...who all is a friend on mine??? lets talk about people and see if I know what's up with em...
little miss allie!! i love her, she's a delta state havin fun i'm sure....ben, we still text he came up here not too long ago to stay for new years...so yeah i guess it was a while ago ha, davis? hummm i dunno? if you read this, how are you?? Julie...livin in memphis on rhodes campus i'm guessin...we text from time to time..she said she'd stop by the apt. some time...chicken, kate..williams sister, is going to get interviewed monday at outback...yay...that'll be fun! I do wanna work with her :) Allyn, hum...I did think about her today at Target, there was st. pattys stuff everywhere and I was like, i think it's on the 17th, cause isn't that allyn's birthday? if yeah...happy birthday, I know it's atleast in March, right? Amanda, I wonder how she's doing, I thought about her and sara...a lot...I still have their bday presents in the car! hahahahhahaha!! i'll be in town tuesday! and I thought about their graduation gifts...what ya'll want? I need a senior pic and invitation to graduation. I may cry...that's some picks from my list over there..how is everyone??
pictures!!!

Great...funny...fun...awesome video